Your island-trekking fave’s fave released a top secret album against label wishes and without promo, which was lauded as a courageous “game changing move” when in actuality the label highly disapproved of and rejected the bulk of the “ratchet” material two years in advance, yet the album was released anyway to the rejoicing of the Sheeple. What you also didn’t know was that the album was released to fulfill a spiritual obligation and ALL proceeds from sales of the ART[istic] pop album will be donated to charity to fulfill her spiritual vows taken during recent Caribbean dalliances.